Sacrifices of Destiny
by StrangelyPenned
Summary: CONTAINS SPOILERS. Ep-tag to The Kindness of Strangers, 5x10. Perhaps the revelation had come to him when he had been lying on a forgotten rooftop, bleeding out slowly, friends further than ever. Maybe that was when Merlin had finally realised, tears slipping from his eyes as he thought of all the sacrifices people had made for his destiny, for Emrys.


**Wow so I haven't been around for ages (blame the Merlin feels). I'll say nothing, because I want to spoil nothing, but OMFG srsly? I think I die every week, alive again only to be hit by more feels every Saturday. **_And let's not even TALK about it bloody ENDING._

**So here is an episode tag (ish) for 5.10, just an unbeta'd drabble I couldn't help but write last week. Hope you're prepared for tomorrow. Enjoy!**

**(SPOILER WARNING for S5)**

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"Merlin!"

He heard the shout before he saw him, but that was to be expected. Arthur was the King, Merlin was slinking back into Camelot when he shouldn't even have been out of it.

"Merlin!"

Merlin glanced up as he neared the courtyard, suddenly remembering his horse and hoping someone had collected it.

Arthur was coming down the front steps with a frown on his face. He didn't look happy.

Merlin continued walking, brushing past the King.

"Merlin, stop! Where the hell have you been?"

Merlin took a deep breath and turned to face Arthur, projecting his best innocent-idiot expression.

"What do you mean?"

Arthur's hand clamped around Merlin's sleeve and pulled him down level with him, at the bottom of the steps in the courtyard. His mouth was a hard line, a little crease between his eyebrows.

"There have been sorcerers running around, Merlin. So where have you been?"

"Me? Oh, I was just collecting herbs. For Gaius. They're very important."

Arthur looked unimpressed. "Surely even you're not that much of an idot, _Mer_lin."

Merlin tried for a grin. "I'm sure we established that I am."

"Merlin ..."

"If you'll excuse me, Sire, I've got to go. Things to-"

"Doesn't explain why my knights returned before you did!"

Merlin froze in the act of pulling his sleeve away from Arthur, hand falling to his side. Arthur looked a little bit smug and he nodded his head behind Merlin, to where the knights were leading the horses in, presumably back from a patrol or something.

Seeing them, Merlin was reminded of his earlier thoughts. "Did anyone bring back my horse? Only ..."

He trailed off when he saw Arthur's face. He looked downright angry.

"Your horse was found by Sir Percival, Merlin. Running around in the woods."

"Ah."

"And where were you?"

"I told you ..."

"Mordred told us he walked you back to the bridge," Sir Leon cut in and Merlin spun to face the knights.

None of them looked suitably impressed. When he glanced at Mordred, Merlin saw his ever-passive expression, giving nothing away.

"I ..."

"We found the sorceress, Merlin," Arthur said.

Merlin's head turned so fast his neck cricked. "What?"

Arthur frowned, before gesturing to the knights behind him. Merlin faced them unsurely.

"She was in a tower," Gwaine said after a short silence.

"It was on fire," Percival added. "She was dead, inside."

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat. First Alator, now Finna.

"Morgana?" he asked.

There was a short, tense silence and Merlin realised belatedly he shouldn't have known that.

"How did you know?" Arthur asked quietly.

"It was Morgana," Mordred said hurriedly and Merlin swallowed nervously again and met his eyes, once again unsure whether to be thankful or not. "But that wasn't what had killed her."

"What?" Arthur and Merlin spoke together. Merlin glanced at the King, who frowned at him.

"It was not magic that caused the wound, Sire," Sir Leon said, and Merlin got the distinct impression that he was still annoyed with Merlin's antics. "It was a sword."

"What are you saying?"

"The sorceress took her own life," said Percival.

And suddenly, Merlin couldn't breathe. He backed away a little bit and turned, hurrying up the steps and feeling a small twinge of pain from his side, where he thought he'd probably get another scar.

Finna. Finna was dead. Finna had...

"Merlin!"

Merlin turned, aware of the fact that Arthur was calling him. The King walked up the steps towards him.

"I will see you in my chambers for later; I'd like to know exactly why you were running around in the woods. Again." Arthur came to a stop opposite him, assessing. "And why you have blood on your jacket."

Merlin stared at Arthur for a second, really stared. He dipped his head and murmured some kind of reply before rushing away as fast as he could.

Only to be called back again. "Merlin!"

He'd barely got inside when he saw Gwaine standing there looking uncharacteristically worried, one hand on the hilt of his sword.

Merlin suddenly felt very, very tired. The room spun for a moment and he automatically clapped a hand to his pocket like he'd been doing ever since he woke up, checking he still had Finna's gift.

Merlin opened his eyes to Gwaine's steadying hand on his elbow.

"You okay Merlin?" Gwaine asked.

Merlin nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"There's blood on you like you've been shot," Gwaine continued. "There's no wound."

Merlin felt his shoulders droop a little. He pulled his arm from Gwaine's grip.

"It's nothing, Gwaine," he said, too tired to think of an excuse.

He could feel the box Finna had given him heavy in his pocket now, but even heavier was the weight on his heart.

"Fi- the sorceress," Merlin found himself asking. "She's really dead?"

Gwaine nodded and Merlin found a small "oh" escaping his lips before he murmured a thanks and turned away.

Shouldn't have let her go, Merlin, he thought. He hadn't been thinking straight, had been about to pass out from blood loss and still felt a little faint now.

He hoped Gwaine didn't see him wipe his eyes as he walked away, the burden on his shoulders heavier with every step he took, feeling the weight of his destiny crushing him once more.

Two, good people had died to allow him to fulfil his destiny, sacrificing himself so that he might live.

_No more_, Merlin vowed to himself, fingers curling around the little metal box. _No more will die, not for me._

_But I'll bring Albion._

Maybe that last thought was to them, directed to all the people Merlin had known that had lived and then died for him, Arthur, Albion.

_If it's the last thing I do._

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**I mean, Merlin's lost so many people now and I think _sometimes _the weight of all those deaths would hit him. Plus, Colin Morgan's acting is heartbreaking and I literally _cannot even _especially when he cries and just. Ugh. Finna was the last straw (as was the 5.11 preview omg I just can't).**

**Please review, else I shall be smothered by angst and spend the rest of my days in a dark cave.**

**(much love)  
****-SP x**


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